Ok, I saw Julie and Julia, I'm sure I've mentioned this before because I absolutely loved it. Now, in that movie I distinctly remember Julie saying "braised cucumbers are a revelation".
So, for some reason I got it in my head this week that I was going to make them. I had a cucumber, why not! When I googled it, I realized that not only had half of the people writing food blogs had the same idea I did, but that I was also pretty late to the party. And, as I read, things came up like "heaven on a plate" and "amazing" and "a classic". I have to say, I don't know WHAT these people are thinking.
This was not the grossest thing I've ever made- that prize goes to the Dulce de Leche I screwed up a while back (newly filed in my growing "disasters" category). But, it was, lets just say, not good.
Here is what everyone says to do....
1 big cucumber (or 2 regular sized)
1 tbsp butter
1 dash salt
1 tsp lemon juice
1 pinch dried mint
squeeze lemon juice
Peel cucumber, cut into quarters and remove seeds. Then, cut it into 1 inch pieces (note: mine were bigger. I have no even remote inkling that cutting them smaller would have helped). Melt butter (note: I used Earth Balance. it does make them vegan, which only matters if you actually eat them. I don't think butter would have saved these things, I really don't) in a pan and add the cucumber. Cover and cook about 10 minutes on medium heat. Stir in salt, lemon, and mint. Cover and cook another 2 minutes.
They tasted like hot soggy cucumbers. That is all. They weren't transformed, they weren't magical, they were exactly what they sound like if you imagine slowly cooking a cucumber. Sadly, they are not my new secret recipe, to say the least.
To rescue this, if you want my ACTUAL favorite cucumber recipe, it is super easy, and here you go: very thinly slice one large English cucumber. Sprinkle on either seasoned rice vinegar and salt and pepper OR seasoned rice vinegar, a little sesame oil, and red pepper flakes. That on is good, I swear.