Oh man oh man oh man!
I'm always trying to figure out some miraculous fast way to make bread at home. I have tried things like this whole artisan bread in 5 minutes a day kick people were on, I've tried other fast and easy tricks. And, let me tell you, I have made a lot of bad bread (see Exhibit A. it was not delicious. it looked like a giant cow pattie. it did not look like the picture on the internet. neither did any of the rest of the ones I made).
BUT. This, this might be the answer. And, of course, the answer involved beer.
This is suuuuuuuuuper easy:
1 bottle beer (I used Sierra Nevada IPA because thats what I had)
1tsp baking powder
Stir it up. Put it in a loaf pan. Let it sit for like half an hour to an hour if you have time. Put it in the oven at 350, and bake for about 1 hour. If you want, 3/4 of the way through you can spread butter on the top of it.
Check this out! Its not deformed!
And check THIS out... (DRUMROLL, PLEASE...)
(ps. if you have self-rising flour, use that. just skip the salt and baking powder)